I requested this book for review a bit over a year ago, because I was feeling stressed out and in need of a toolkit to help. I only managed to finish it recently, ironically because once again I’m feeling under a bit of stress and in need of a toolkit to help.

The truth is that I’m not quite sure how to use this book effectively, and I fully admit this is likely a case of it’s me, and not the book. See, I tend to look for books like this when I’m feeling stressed, and for those moments, this book is filled with far too much content for me to easily find effective exercises to pull from. And when I do try dipping into this book in moments when I’m not quite as stressed, then it’s hard for me to pick out which category of information will be most useful for me to refer to in future.

The way Belling lays out the information feels almost academic. There are different types of stress, different types of stress responses, and different types of exercises that can help address each one. It’s a lot of information to parse through, and honestly a bit overwhelming for me to process, regardless of what point in the stress cycle I’m in at any given time.

However, this time, I did make an effort to read through to the end, and I’ve come to a conclusion: I wish this book were a class. I wish it were a series of workshops, where an instructor leads me and a bunch of other folks trying to get on a more even keel in a chaotic world, through each exercise in turn. I wish I had an instructor and a peer group to process all the information with me, and perhaps join in a discussion with me about which of the stress responses feel familiar from our own lives.

And that’s why I think this book not being quite effective for me is more about me than about the book itself. Because the bottom line is, this book does contain a lot of useful information. For example, I appreciate how Belling parses out the fight-flight-freeze response by distinguishing between anxiety freeze and dissociating/numbing freeze. I’m so used to associating the freeze response with the heart-thumping high energy of anxiousness that being able to situate within the spectrum my own occasional tendency to simply go blank and shut down actually felt reassuring.

I also found some familiar tools that I’ve used myself multiple times over the years and found effective. For example, there’s a somewhat simplified version of the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) thought record, where you write down the intrusive thought and reasons why the thought may and may not have basis in reality. From mindfulness, there are some breathing techniques like the 4-7-8 system (inhale through the nose for 4 beats, hold for 7, and exhale through the mouth for 8), as well as some grounding techniques to root oneself in the body and the present moment.

One new tool that I really like is called the SEW system: S – soothe and soften your body; E – Enquire “what do I need right now?”; and W – wish well for yourself and others. It’s simple, easy to remember, and actually rather comforting to think about.

Overall, I’m not sure if this book is quite right for me, as I think I would absorb/experience this content better in a facilitated setting. Or maybe even with the exercises in a podcast/audio format where I could close my eyes and really get into the practice. But I do think the exercises are useful, and the information about anxiety, depression, and stress responses are also useful. So I think this book could be a useful resource for the right kind of reader, perhaps one who learns better from the more structured and academic approach this book takes. As for me, I may do better sticking to my oldie but goodie resource Unplug: A Simple Guide to Meditation.

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Thank you to Firefly Books for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.