Long-time fans of Peter James’ Roy Grace mysteries know his tragic backstory: his wife Sandy disappeared without a word years ago, and he’s been dealing with the heartbreak since.

In They Thought I Was Dead, Sandy finally gets the chance to tell her story. And it turns out to be both gripping page turner and tragedy. Sandy’s a compelling and complex anti-hero: smart and resourceful, yet seeming cursed to make one terrible choice after another. We want very badly for her to succeed, yet we can only keep reading as she digs herself out of one hole only to land in an even bigger one.

Her story begins when she meets a wealthy woman in Pilates class, and realizes she wants more out of life than her comfortable but staid existence with Roy. This leads to some risky choices that soon put her on the wrong side of Roel Albazi, an Albanian career criminal who becomes the catalyst for Sandy running away.

To Sandy’s credit, as much as she tries to justify her decisions and blame others for her situation, she’s also self-aware enough to admit, even to herself, that others weren’t to blame for her choices. Tamzin may have tempted her towards a more glamorous lifestyle, but then her desire for an exciting and glamorous life began all the way from childhood, when she vowed not to turn out like her ultra-thrifty working class parents. Roy’s career may have led to much loneliness and many cancelled date nights, but Roy did not cause her to have one night stands with other men. Sandy’s gambling may have landed her in a mountain of debt she could not even begin to pay, but she would somehow figure something out.

And you know what? Kudos to her. For all the mistakes Sandy makes and all the downward spirals she has to deal with, she consistently takes responsibility for her actions. She also undergoes tremendous growth throughout the story. Her story may involve moments where she gets mired in one serious addiction or another, but it also involves many moments where she makes choices to free herself from those addictions and truly work towards a better life. So even when she stumbles once or twice, we are fully on her side cheering her on to pick herself back up again.

That’s why it’s so hard to read the chapters from Roel Albazi’s point of view. Even though he ceases to be a majorly visible figure in her life partway through, his chapters tell us that he’s never forgotten her, and that he continues to be obsessed with causing her harm. And while he remains a nightmare figure in Sandy’s subconscious, she’s much more focused on the villains and misadventures in her present-day. Honestly, I just wish she’d told Roy about him. I don’t know how much Roy would have been able to help, but I hated that Albazi remained a threat even as Sandy continued to work her way back up.

The last few chapters are particularly tough to read: Sandy has finally achieved some sort of happiness, and yet can’t help but long for the life with Roy she’s left behind. Unfortunately for her, he’s already moved on, and is in a serious romantic relationship with a forensic pathologist. This leads Sandy to doing things that she herself admits to her psychologist she’s not proud of. (From my past blog posts, there seems to be some overlap with events in Roy Grace Book 10, Want You Dead.) And honestly? It’s tragic. We want her to be happy, and it’s hard to see her making all-new bad choices that jeopardize that.

Sandy’s story is a fast-paced and page-turning read, but it’s not an easy one. Peter James turns this shadowy figure from Roy Grace’s past into a captivating anti-hero on her own merit.  I would have loved to read more stories from her, but I’m glad we have at least this one book. As Sandy says in the prologue, referencing the dash between the year of birth and year of death on a person’s gravestone: “I’m just fleshing out the dash a bit on my odd little life.”

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Thank you to Publisher’s Group Canada for an advanced reading copy of this in exchange for an honest review.